Bump in the night - Part 1

FUTURAMA: BUMP IN THE NIGHT
CAPTION: [in alienese] NERDLINGERS UNITE!

Part 1

An eerie light was set upon the street of New New York; Halloween drew near. Priests filled the streets shouting something about repentance, or maybe it was re-pent ants. Sales in garlic and wooden stakes increased as well as sabotage to ladders and inside umbrellas. But people still flocked to get pumpkins, real, plastic and illegally produced. Excitement built in the average family, the prospect of sweet gifts and a chance to pull a prank without worry of any dangerous holiday mascots such as Robot Santa Claus or the Zombie Easter Bunny.

Though no one could have been as exited as Professor Farnsworth; he had been growing pumpkins with a growth enhancement and was about to make a breakthrough in pumpkin technology. What disappointed him though, was the fact that nobody cared.

‘I’m sick of pumpkins!’ Fry whined to the professor. ‘Can’t you use something like peaches or hamsters or sugar?’

‘Incidentally, I did use some sugar.’ He said as he dug through his pockets and produced a bag of sweets. ‘Here, try these pumpkin flavoured sweets I made.’

Fry eagerly held out his hand for them, but spat them straight back out. ‘Ew, those taste like pumpkins!’

‘Yes, ingenious don’t you think?’ But the professor didn’t get to hear what Fry thought as Leela walked in.

Fry was glad for a different person to talk to. ‘Hey Leela, what are you going as?’

‘For what?’

‘Duh, for Halloween of course!’

‘I don’t think I’m going out on Halloween; I don’t see the point.’

‘Aw come on Leela. You can come with me.’

‘That gives me more the reason not to go out.’

‘Fine, I’ll take Bender then. He appreciates me.’

‘It’s not that I don’t appreciate you…’

‘I heard my name, what’s going on?’ Bender had poked his head in the door.

‘Nothing that concerns you.’ Leela said sitting down beside Fry on the couch.
‘I heard my name.’ Bender repeated forcefully as he walked in and stood before them.

Fry made an incomprehensible noise.

‘Halloween.’ Leela translated for Bender.

‘I know, I heard him.’ Bender retorted. He glanced from Leela to Fry and took note of Leela’s hand rested on Fry’s knee.

‘Is he taking you out or am I to put up with him for the night?’ he asked.

Leela was startled and she glanced between Bender’s merely bored expression to Fry’s hopeful stare. How she had been so easily cornered with this decision, she had no idea. Normally she could evade Fry, but when Bender stepped in it seemed so cruel that she turned him down every time. Bender had this power to make a situation three times as bad as it seems.

‘Stay out of it.’ She said hotly.

Bender shrugged. ‘You’re on your own buddy.’ He slinked out casting a disappointed look at Leela. She ignored him.

‘Fry, I can’t…’

‘Why not?’ The delivery boy’s voice was full of upset.

Leela could almost hear his heart break, and not just break, but a shattering. And she could tell that it was on the way to mending from last time; why must he always ask her? Leela felt crushed with guilt. ‘Because, I-I…’ her brain was not working; she was out of excuses. She fought the tears that suddenly rose up in her; she was breaking her own heart. ‘This is just stupid,’ she yelled at him in frustration, ‘Halloween is stupid, you’re stupid!’

‘Leela!’ Amy called from somewhere in the building.

Leela shot up from the couch. ‘Coming!’ She hurried across the room without looking back.

‘Leela.’ Fry’s voice was choked and soft, but it didn’t evade Leela’s ears.

‘Leela, you ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’ Amy stood in the professor’s lab, her look one of curiosity and concern.

‘Nonesense! Ghosts aren’t real you Martian!’ roared the professor. They ignored him.

‘I’m fine.’

‘Well brace yourself for the worst.’ Amy said fearfully, ‘We have an infestation.’ She held up a little black bug that had been squished. Its pincers were sharp and dripping with what Leela to perceive as poison that was coloured purple.

‘Great, just great. Now I have to worry about getting bitten as well.’

‘Not necessarily.’ Said the professor as he bent over a contraption. ‘It doesn’t seem to be poisonous, but it could do other things like cause a deadly disease that will put you in peril forever!’

‘That’s stupid.’ Leela said bitterly.

‘No it isn’t!’ the professor said angrily at her.

‘Well compare it to something that’s stupider than it then!’ Leela said darkly, the professor was far from put off.

‘Fry is stupid; in comparison, these bugs are something that is explained by science, and obviously has a brain.’

Leela flushed. ‘How could you say that about him?’

‘Easily!’ the professor said smugly, ‘You would.’ He turned to tinker with his toys leaving Leela standing as if someone had emptied a bucket of cold water over her.

‘Oh, and by the way,’ Amy interjected, ‘We’ve got an invitation to go to a Halloween party.’

‘Take Fry,’ Leela said disheartened, ‘He could use more of a celebration than I.’

‘But Kif’s taking me; I thought you would like something to do.’

‘What am I supposed to do? Stand around talking and sip champagne?’

‘That’s the general idea, yeah.’

‘Alright then,’ Leela sighed, ‘I’ll come, and if I don’t like it I’ll leave.’

‘Five o’clock, Madison Cube Garden, don’t forget fancy dress. It will be cloolriffic!’

‘Sure.’ Leela turned around and came face to face with Bender. They stared at each other for a moment. Leela dropped her gaze first.

‘So I’m going with Fry?’ he asked. Leela didn’t answer, but Bender knew already.
‘Fine, whatever.’ He puffed on his cigar and walked out.

Leela stared at the floor, and she wondered how Bender could make it worse without showing any emotion at all. Her vision suddenly became blurry, the tears were welling up in her eye. She blinked and watched as the tear fell in seemingly slow motion and land with a splash. A black bug appeared and scuttled to Leela’s feet, it’s intention to bite clear. But it was no match for Leela’s boot, pounded on it.

‘Nice reflex.’

Leela looked up to see that Fry had appeared in the doorway; he looked how Leela felt. But he cracked a weak grin, apparently trying to get things back to normal. He was clutching Nibbler who excitedly jabbered when he saw his mistress.

‘He got stuck under the TV.’ Fry explained, depositing Nibbler into her arms. ‘He panicked and made it tricky for me to get him out.’

‘Aw did Nibblykins get stwuck?’ she asked her pet. Nibbler chattered affectionately.

‘What do we say to Fry?’ Leela paused before she turned and without thinking, pushed a soft kiss to Fry’s dusty nose. ‘Thank you.’

Fry grinned embarrassedly, ‘No problem. Anytime… seriously.’

Leela grinned back, all was forgiven. But her grin soon faded. ‘Oh… Fry, you’re bleeding!’

‘What?’ Fry lifted his hand to touch the right of his chin. ‘Yeowch.’

Leela put Nibbler on the floor before lifting Fry’s chin for a better look, it was a clean cut and it looked normal besides the fact that it was oozing purple.

‘Oh my god, you’ve been bitten! And by the size of it, you’re going to need stitches.’

‘Stiches you say?’ Doctor Zoidberg appeared seemingly at the right time.

Fry paled. ‘Don’t let that monster touch me!’

‘It won’t hurt a bit.’ Zoidberg said, pulling a collapsible sewing machine out. The dreadful machine had pointy bits sticking out from it, and it roared like a chainsaw when he turned it on.

Fry whimpered; he couldn’t run as Leela had such a grip on his head. He could feel the liquid running down his neck, and for the first time a stabbing pain.

Leela scowled at Zoidberg. ‘Don’t you dare touch him.’ She said distastefully. ‘He needs caring for, not dismantling like some robot.’

‘Hey, I resent that!’ Bender had reappeared, ready in his Halloween outfit. His Napoleon hat complimented by a gathering of medals set on his chest. An out of tune banging sounded every time he moved which led Leela to believe he had his banjo with him.

‘Leeba, jour hurking bee.’ Fry’s eyes stung with tears as the pressure Leela applied on his chin became too much.

‘Fry, I’m going to give you two options; we rush you to the hospital and then we’ll have to wait for who knows how long. Or I’ll patch you up with my sewing kit, and hope the venom isn’t fatal.’

‘Or Zoidberg will help!’ the doctor interjected.

‘I’ve got some sealer back at our place.’ Bender put in helpfully.

‘Leeba!’ Fry said in a panic; Zoidberg was standing with his scary contraption and he had experienced Bender’s sealer before.

~

Swollen and sore, Fry had a neat wound to show off. The stitching was rough, but adequate and Leela was quite satisfied with her work. The wound and the surrounding skin was bruised purple, but Fry had not been concerned about it. She and Fry were the only two in Zoidberg’s surgery room as she had kicked out the decapodian and Bender had wandered off for somewhere to play his banjo.

Fry sat still as Leela carefully sponged off the now dry blood off his neck.

‘Well there goes my plan for going as Captain Kirk.’

‘You’d be arrested anyway. Maybe don’t go as something spacey.’

‘But I like spacey stuff; I don’t want something dorky like a vegetable.’ Leela chuckled.

‘Goes as a pumpkin.’ She said, playfully tugging on his orange hair.

‘Hell no.’ he said repulsively. He tentatively touched his cheek.

‘Don’t play with it.’ Leela said pulling his hand away from his face. ‘I didn’t ask you, how’d you get bitten? I mean, those things obviously don’t have wings.’

‘What things?’

‘Those things.’ Leela said, spotting one on the floor trying to bite through her boot.

Fry quickly lifted his legs out of the way. ‘Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!’ he said in a panic.

Leela lifted her foot and brought it down heavily with a satisfying crunch. Fry relaxed and gratefully grinned at her.

‘Maybe when I was trying to get Nibbler out.’ he said, his hand automatically came back up to touch his cheek.

Leela slapped his hand. ‘Don’t touch it!’
‘It’s itchy!’

Leela clasped his hands. ‘Don’t touch it.’

‘It’s itchy!’

Leela sighed; she needed to distract him from it. ‘Go as a vampire, that way you have an excuse for a cut where it is.’

‘It’s itchy!’

Leela was saved by the PA system. ‘Everyone to the meeting table! Now!’

She did as was ordered, with Fry in tow.

‘It’s itchy!’ Fry’s hands fidgeted under Leela’s grasp, but she wasn’t about to let him undo all her work.

‘I’m going to clobber you one if you don’t stop.’ She threatened.

Fry whimpered in response.

Half the crew were there when they sat down; Leela still holding Fry’s hands. Bender shot her a sceptical look across the table. She sent back a glare. Fry whimpered quietly; his face was painfully itchy and he suspected that Leela had cut off the circulation in his hands. He tried to rub his wound with his shoulder.

Leela stepped on his foot. ‘Stop it.’ She hissed.

‘Attention please!’ Hermes called as the last person; Amy sat down. ‘I would like to call attention to the crate to my left. It was to be our last delivery for the day, just down the street, but they cancelled and now we have all these decorations and costumes.’ He smiled warmly at them, something that rarely happened. A silence fell over the crew, they were afraid that someone would be fired.
‘You can take from it what you want and then it goes to the professor for his experiment.’ The professor grinned at Hermes.

‘Oh, and Bender’s not allowed.’ Everyone blanched and stared expectedly at Bender waiting for an angry outburst.

Bender lay back in his chair and strummed on his banjo. ‘Eh, I already got my costume.’

‘Very well.’ Said Hermes, ‘And it has been brought to my attention that we have a…’

‘Infestation, yeah, we know.’ Bender said, bringing his foot cup down heavily on a bug that was scuttling across the floor.

‘Don’t get bitten, it turns out that you turn green and turn into a giant gelatinous idiot!’ the professor announced, with hand actions to suit.

‘Am not!’ Fry said angrily

‘Well some could argue you are, but you haven’t been bitten have you?’

‘Actually, he has.’

‘Huh-wha?’

Leela let go of Fry’s hands and seized his head to show the professor.

‘Ouch! Leeba! Lebbe go!’ Fry hands uselessly pushed against her shoulders.

‘Oh my.’ Said the professor disappointedly as he shuffled over to them and poked Fry’s cheek.

‘Owie! Dop boucking be!’ he whimpered. They ignored him.

‘It seems all it produces is a purple rash that irritates the flesh when provoked.’

‘It’s hurbing!’ Fry feebly attempted to wriggle out of Leela’s grip, noone noticed his rising panic. Leela tightened her grip, intent on the professor’s words.

‘I’ll have to do some tests, but it could be…’ the professor was interrupted though, when Fry unexpectedly burst into tears. Leela’s painful grip around his head had disabled him from using his voice. He struck Leela’s shoulder weakly, not with the intention to hurt, but the intention for attention. Leela let go in her surprise. Fry collapsed on his chair and buried his head into his arms, sobbing quietly. Everyone stared at him in alarm.

1986

‘Yancy, let me go!’ Philip struggled to breathe as his brother Yancy had him in a headlock like a vice and was forcing him around in circles.

‘Where’s Snowy?’

‘I didn’t take your stupid hamster!’ Philip gasped, Yancy tightened his grip, Philip started to turn blue.

‘Liar!’

‘I didn’t.’ Philip choked. ‘You’re hurting!’

‘Tell me where he is and I’ll let you go. And if not, I can make this tighter.’ Yancy threatened.

‘I don’t know! Yancy, stop it! I can’t- c-can’t-br-b-rea-…’

‘YANCY FRY! LET YOUR BROTHER GO!’ Their mother stood on the balcony in shock as Yancy reluctantly released him. Philip fainted before he hit the ground.
(to be continued)